Chapter 5, The mediocre often aspire.

The old woman in the office indeed launched another round of cold sarcasm— the company is about to hold an investment promotion conference, and there is quite a bit of work involved in planning the copy. The administration needs to coordinate among several departments and often has to handle some trivial tasks, making it so busy that one could hardly recognize their own father. Yet, Ye Zilu surprisingly fled the scene for a whole day.

The old woman has always felt that Ye Zilu's presence has taken away her livelihood

This time, not only has the workload been shared, but even the bonuses have been distributed.

Sometimes she becomes so engrossed in her fantasies that she unknowingly arrives at the company. She feels a slight resentment, wondering why this stretch of road is so short, as she hasn't indulged enough in her own world of imagination. Then, she painfully transitions from her fantasies to reality, slowly yawning as she walks into the office, forcing herself to muster some encouragement, saying—it's okay, I am only in my twenties, I am still young, it's not too late to start working hard now

In the evening, when Ye Zilu returned home, she had long forgotten the "humiliation from earlier in the morning". She flopped into the room like a boneless creature, starting to scroll through Weibo, then Renren, followed by Douban, and finally Tianya... After some deliberation about whether to watch a drama or read a novel, she ultimately opened a web novel of around five to six hundred thousand words and spent the evening engrossed in it

Young people are always easily attracted by those phrases about "soul" in novels, as if only the "soul" possesses depth, while all "bodies" are shallow and vulgar. Each of them believes they have a unique soul, and after growing up in such a naive manner, they eventually realize that their naturally shining soul has always been imprisoned in this despicable body, ... gradually becoming numb in the day-to-day stagnation, and then ... . Each of them believes they have a unique soul, and after growing up in such a naive manner, they eventually realize that their naturally shining soul has always been imprisoned in this despicable body, ... gradually becoming numb in the day-to-day stagnation, and then ... . ... there is no "then".

However, every morning she sits alone in the car with her headphones on, watching the buildings and streets of the city recede one by one, feeling a deep sadness in her heart—it's as if someone has set her on fire, though no one can see it. This girl, who appears to be in a daze, is experiencing a profound restlessness within her.

Ye Zilu is already older than three eights, so she does not cry out; instead, after a brief moment of anxiety, she begins to think about some unreliable matters aimlessly to divert her attention

Ye Zilu cannot avoid going to work just because she has a small cut on her foot. Taking one day off is already quite unreasonable, and she must still face the harsh reality the next day.

It is an indescribable sense of anxiety that lies between reality and delusion. If one must describe it, it is akin to the state of a child around eight or nine years old who has just begun to take an interest in natural sciences and is starting to think critically. This child might become fixated on questions such as "Why am I me?" "What is outside the universe?" or "What is death like, and what will happen to me when I die?" It is that naive restlessness and ignorant worry that arises from not being able to find answers or make sense of these thoughts.

petty person

The alarm went off half an hour early, which not only failed to help her have a well-organized morning, but when she hurriedly got out of bed, she was actually ten minutes later than usual

Then she glanced in the direction of the old woman and winked at Ye Zilu, saying, "It's early in the morning, don't be angry"

It is not until one truly becomes an adult that one understands the troublesome matters in the world, such as "perfect attendance," "the moods of others," and "job security" that require consideration

Because she has done nothing at all

After a long day at work, I feel quite exhausted. I will look at it again tomorrow. This is how Ye Zilu comforted herself, thinking that in just one evening, there isn't much to see anyway

Ye Zilu smiled as she took it, but the resentment in her heart did not diminish at all—she was a bit naive, but not foolish

In childhood, I always felt that adults were incredibly free; they could take leave at any time and did not need to report to teachers when going to the restroom. There was no organization or discipline. As a little kid, I had to go to school every day, subjected to the control of those big-bottomed old ladies who sat around all year long. It was simply inhumane, and I dreamed of growing up overnight.

Sometimes, while lost in thought, I may even cry out

One must live, even if Ye Zilu is a good-for-nothing dependent on her family, she still wants to try to be more active and rely less on others—of course, this does not make her seem any more accomplished.

The old woman glared fiercely: "Ye Zilu, can you speak like a human?"

Mornings are always accompanied by adverse physical reactions such as low blood pressure and low blood sugar. The mere thought of going to work fills her with an indescribable sense of gloom and irritability, leaving her with no expectations for the day ahead

The money earned from that pot of vinegar is not enough to compensate for the emotional trauma.

Ye Zilu painfully paid for the taxi fare, limping towards the office while calculating her day's wages in her mind. After deducting the basic living expenses, she wondered if there would be enough left to justify such a luxurious act of taking a taxi so early in the morning.

However, regardless of whether others believe it or not, the leadership certainly does, fearing that she might suffer some misfortune, which would require the company to reimburse her medical expenses as a work-related injury. Consequently, the human resources department swiftly issued a recruitment notice—within less than a week, Ye Zilu was hired.

Isn't it true that she has grown weary of spending decades in a private enterprise, performing menial tasks day in and day out, and is now seeking a broader future for herself?

At that moment, the intense resentment emanating from Ye Zilu affected Xiao Zhang beside her. Xiao Zhang quickly glanced over and noticed that the old woman was not paying attention, so he gently nudged Ye Zilu and took out a small snack from the drawer, whispering, "I brought this from home yesterday. You weren't here, so I saved a piece for you. It's quite delicious."

In ten minutes, one can only watch half an episode of an animated series, and it is only in the morning that it seems so precious

Xiao Zhang is the kind of person who comforts you and offers you small favors at any time and in any place, constantly implying that her bottom is firmly seated on the same bench as yours. However... in reality, her bottom has been on far too many benches, treating everyone the same way. When conflicts arise among others, she is always the one who sits back calmly, watching the tigers fight from the mountain.

Her time has passed in this constant struggle with herself ... However, no one knows that she is grappling with herself, nor does anyone realize that she actually harbors some ambition and is someone who dares to dream of being a winner in life

A sharp-tongued woman in menopause picks fights every day, while a naive and straightforward young person expresses their temper directly. Every day in the office, they engage in various dramatic exchanges, creating an exceptionally lively atmosphere

Ye Zilu decisively decided to indulge herself and take a taxi

At that time, she indeed possessed such temperament. In moments like these, Ye Zilu would feel akin to Han Xin, who endured humiliation beneath others' feet, bearing what others could not bear, and then accumulating this energy, waiting for a moment of explosive release.

However, for some unknown reason, this energy has not yet had the chance to "thin out," yet it always seems to slowly evaporate first, dissipating completely within a short day

For the office workers who chase after the bus that provides emergency services in the bustling streets every day, running a whole station just to barely squeeze on, and anxiously clocking in at the last moment, this is simply fatal

The old woman has firmly decided that she is one who avoids heavy burdens and, when there are many tasks, deliberately takes leave. Therefore, upon meeting, she immediately begins to speak in a sarcastic and ambiguous manner

Ye Zilu, reflecting on her injured foot, realized that since she had not gone to the office for a day, the menopausal woman there would likely give her a hard time today—this thought made her even less inclined to go.

Last night, when Wang Laura urged her to read, Ye Zilu rejected her with an extremely carefree attitude. Perhaps in Wang Laura's mind, she was enviably carefree: a typical Type B personality, her family background, while not exactly superior, was evidently better than that of Wang Laura, a girl from out of town. She lived a simple and carefree life, with enough to eat and a routine that was uncomplicated.

The Dragon City is so vast, yet everyone is only preoccupied with their own drowsiness

Ye Zilu only had time to inquire about the situation of this unfortunate person

I must study hard when I go back tonight. One day, I, Ye Zilu, will rise above and break free from you petty people and shrews, Ye Zilu thought with ambition

Fearing that her feet would be inconvenient in the morning, she specifically set the alarm clock half an hour earlier

As for the study materials for the civil service examination, they are still quietly lying in the corner gathering dust

For instance, imagine waking up one day and finding yourself back in high school, or simply waking up to discover that you are only two years old, still unable to walk, at the age when you reach out for a hug. She fantasizes about traversing through life—certainly, she must showcase her prodigious talents early on, achieving great success and becoming a life winner envied by all.

The moment she got into the taxi, Ye Zilu's self-reflection button was activated: "The exam is just around the corner, I spent the whole day at home yesterday, why didn't I take the time to study? I just let it slip by like that"

The word "really" was drawn out for a long time, almost as if pointing at Ye Zilu's nose, saying: "The whole room is filled with women, who are you pretending to be weak for?"

Others do not possess the ability to see through her tumultuous and colorful inner world. In their eyes, she remains a lazy child who lacks ambition, does not strive, is unaware of urgency, takes two steps forward only when given a push, and is somewhat like mud that cannot stick to the wall.

Ye Zilu glanced at her with a smile that did not reach her eyes: "Isn't that so? Walking on dark roads too often, even if you don't encounter ghosts, you will at least step on broken glass shards—fortunately, I am still young and strong, so I might just limp for two days. But someone like you, Sister Lin, would probably end up meeting Marx."

Note: Type B personality: It is a very straightforward and blunt classification of people into two types. Those who enjoy competition, are aggressive, and tend to be combative are referred to as Type A personality, while the opposite is Type B.

Nonsense, clearly someone saw her in the supermarket the day before, almost getting into a fight over a discounted jar of soy sauce, her fighting spirit was absolutely off the charts

The other two members of the administrative team glanced at the two of them, seemingly unfazed, and continued to do whatever they were supposed to do, observing with their eyes focused on their noses and their noses on their mouths.

Then, sitting in the small vehicle, watching those people jostling for space while clutching their breakfast as they squeezed onto the bus and subway, she not only felt no sense of superiority but instead fell into a deep self-loathing.

Originally, it turned out that only the old woman was in charge of coordination in this area. At that time, I would see her strutting down the hallway in high heels every day, imperiously demanding that various departments submit their plans for the week and summaries for the previous week. Later, she probably felt that as such an important figure, it was unreasonable for the company to pay her such a meager salary each month. Thus, she began to complain about being busy with too many tasks, even placing a bottle of quick-acting heart relief pills in her drawer, frequently adopting a frail demeanor to lament her heart discomfort.

The next day, Yan Ke hid in Wang Laura's bag, her heart filled with anxiety, and followed along.

Ye Zilu feigned surprise: "Oh dear, look at my mouth, phew phew phew, children speak without restraint, ha, children speak without restraint. I am just straightforward, with no ill intentions, please bear with me."

Oh dear," she said with a click of her tongue, "let me see, it really is limping, isn't it?"

Then sometimes, while lost in thought, she would realize that she was still herself, having long passed the age of seeking hugs. She would once again fall into the depths of her emotions, where amidst a calm atmosphere, her mood would oscillate, rising and falling—seeing her calm face reflected in the car window made her feel as if she were a lunatic

Ye Zilu sneered as she walked past the old woman, opening her laptop to check her work schedule while thinking to herself, damn it, tonight when I get home, I will study hard, in three weeks I must pass the civil service exam, I will not endure the nonsense of such people in this broken place any longer

Then Wang Laura came in, returned the little bear, and casually dropped a line: "If I believe your nonsense again, I would be a fool!"

Ye Zilu evaluated in her mind, and then without any psychological barriers, stuffed the snacks given by the "little person" into her mouth, as a consolation for the five internal organs that had not had time to eat breakfast